i should tell you, i should say
by danahscott
Summary: It might not be New Year's Eve, but it is midnight. Lucas thinks that still counts. Or, Riley throws another holiday bash and Maya and Lucas experience some serious deja vu.


Riley's apartment was packed. It had been almost two years since she'd had a holiday bash, but ever since her failed New Year's Party, she hadn't bothered. But now that her and Lucas were long since over, and her and Farkle had been together for almost six months, she figured why not throw another one?

So, Maya didn't really know why she was surprised to see Lucas there. It was Riley's party after all, and they were all still friends. But Riley and Farkle coupled up only a few months after Riley and Lucas' break up, and Zay and Smackle were relatively new, yet still definitely in the honeymoon stage which put Maya either hanging out with Lucas or in a perpetual state of third-wheeling. She chose the third-wheeling.

After the ski lodge, she put some distance between her and Lucas, and Lucas put his own distance there, too. Which meant there was a lot of distance, and even after the need for it was gone, it was hard to cross all at once. What if old feelings resurfaced? Would that even be a problem anymore? Or worse, what if it was too late, and they couldn't even _talk_ to each other anymore?

So, at the party, Maya was content to just hang back, let the couples have their couple time, steal some eggnog, and call it a night. It was Christmas Eve, after all. But then, she saw Lucas doing the exact same thing. And even though she must have seen Lucas everyday at school, and at Topanga's, it had been a while since she'd really seen him.

 **-::-::-::-::-::-**

Lucas wondered if Maya was wearing the same thing she had at the New Year's party two years ago, because for whatever reason, seeing her today felt like he was back there, before the triangle started and he had to choose, before Farkle was even a factor, before they'd stopped really talking to each other.

He'd been hanging around by the door with a cup of half-drunken eggnog, but for whatever reason, just like that night, he found himself walking towards her, sitting all alone at the bay window in the living room.

"Hey," he said, sitting down a few feet away from her. She looked surprised, but not unhappy to see him, which Lucas took as a good sign.

"Hi."

"Woah," he shook his head, "deja vu." They both laughed, and just like that, things started to feel a little more comfortable again. "So, how've you been? I feel like it's been a long time since we've talked."

"I guess it has, hasn't it?" she said, smiling slightly. "I'm good, though. My, uh…" She paused, biting her lip and looking at Riley, then moved a bit closer to Lucas. "My mom's pregnant."

"Are you serious? Maya, that's great."

"You're kinda the first person I've told. Not that it's a secret or anything. Topanga knows. But you're the first person _I've_ told," she said, a small smile forming on her lips.

"What, not Riley?"

"I was going to, but she was so busy planning all this." She paused again. "It really turned out great, didn't it?"

"Yeah, it did. I have a good feeling about tonight."

 **-::-::-::-::-::-**

When Lucas walked over, Maya wondered if she'd been wishing out loud. And now, talking to him again with the smell of cocoa and the sound of Christmas music in the background, something about the night just felt right, like maybe it could be comfortable again.

There was no reason not to tell him. Nothing was holding her back anymore. She could tell him the truth about everything she said at the ski lodge, about what happened to her the night her parents got engaged, about what changed with them. She could tell him everything. She _should_ tell him everything.

But really, the way things were going, she thought maybe she'd just let him keep talking.

 **-::-::-::-::-::-**

The lights in Riley's apartment were dimmed for the party, and the way they were hitting Maya - Lucas gulped. She'd always been pretty, but as she got older, she was becoming beautiful, and the more Lucas noticed, the more nervous he got. So he cleared his throat and moved on. "This eggnog is _really_ good. Like, remarkably good."

"Ah, yes, that is me and Riley's secret recipe."

"It's cinnamon, right?"

" _Secret,_ Huckleberry."

Lucas laughed, conceding. He really, really missed that nickname. He stopped believing in Santa years ago, but looking at Maya laughing and talking with him, he could swear he heard sleigh bells out the window.

 **-::-::-::-::-::-**

Riley and Farkle started up on a very out-of-tune rendition of Deck the Halls. From across the room, Zay started to sing, without prompt. It was almost eleven-thirty, so just the time for Riley to get a little punchy. Next would be All I Want For Christmas Is You, and Maya, for one, was excited to see. But as she was seeing all her friends singing Christmas tunes with their arms around each other, sitting next to one of her favorite people, Maya felt like her heart was so full it would burst.

She knew presents started at midnight, but everything she had ever wanted was right here. And the best present by far would be having Lucas in her life again. She missed him so much, and she didn't even realize until she was with him and she didn't have to miss him anymore. So when she decided to go home and he told her he'd walk her there, she happily agreed.

 **-::-::-::-::-::-**

The fairy lights in the room were doing a really good job at lighting, but Maya looked brighter to him that night. It was just like the rooftop on New Year's. In the end, after being pushed and pulled for the whole evening, his only attention was her. So when she said she was going, he didn't feel like saying goodbye quite yet.

For the first time since he'd been in New York, the streets felt quiet. Almost midnight on Christmas Eve, and no one was driving up to their neck of the woods. And it had started to snow. It was freezing out, and Lucas recalled the fire burning slowly in Riley's fireplace longingly, but then he watched as Maya closed her eyes and tilted her head up, snowflakes getting caught in her hair, and he felt warmer than ever.

 **-::-::-::-::-::-**

They got her to her front door almost one minute to midnight left. It was so good seeing her again, just the two of them, talking like they used to. She smiled at him, showing all her teeth, and he felt a little chill run down his spine, and though it was freezing out, he didn't think it was because of the weather.

He didn't want the night to end. He didn't want to say goodbye yet. What if they get to school after break and it's all the same again? What if this time next year they're not together at all? It was one midnight. If he was going to make his move, the time was now.

"Do you remember what Charlie said about New Year's Eve way back before Riley's party in eighth grade?"

Maya laughed. "Of course I do. 'Who you're standing with at midnight is who you're going to be with for the whole next year.'"

Lucas checked his watch. "I know it's not New Year's Eve, but it is midnight. So, if I kiss you now, do you promise to spend next year with me?"

When Maya didn't say anything, and her eyebrows shot up, Lucas thought he blew it, and he started to turn to leave, but then Maya, five feet and all, reached up grabbed his collar and pulled him to her lips. It was the kiss he'd been waiting for since Texas, since _forever_. And as she was pulled against him, she still wasn't close enough, he wanted her closer, closer, and he wrapped his arms around her, but he wanted her closer still, closer forever. And then she pulled away, and figuring that the evening was about as good as it was gonna get, he smiled down at her, exhilarated, said, "Merry Christmas, Maya. That was one hell of a present," and turned and walked down her sidewalk.

-::-::-::-::-::-

As Maya watched Lucas go, her cheeks still red and her lips still feeling raw, all she knew for sure was that this time next year, she would be with Lucas, and Lucas would be with her. That kind of made the waiting all worth it.


End file.
